#70 - Tony Parker is Shannon Rutherford

YEP! Is it too early to be dumping out Boone and Shannon on this list? First, how dare you question me! Second, they both die fairly early on on Lost, so GET OFF MY BACK. And c'mon, wherever Boone went, Shannon wasn't far behind and vice versa and the two of them had sexual intercourse. Does that mean Bob Lanier and Tony Parker had sex? Maybe. Prove me wrong!

 

Seriously though, Shannon spoke French and Tony speaks French. I HAD TO DO IT! It's like the numbers - 4 8 15 16 23 42 - made me do it. I didn't make Shannon learn French and live in Paris and date a piece of shit boyfriend there who had a little boy who absolutely hated Shannon and then she used the French she learned to translate the French distress call and later the French annotations on a map. I didn't do that. So, Shannon speaks French and is from America and Tony speaks French and is from Belgium. Not like Danielle Rousseau who speaks French and is from France. BIG DISTINCTION.  

 

Besides French (I mean that could be the end of it), Shannon and Tony were both villains. Shannon is a fucking villain on that show and to anyone who wasn't living or dying by the Riverwalk of ole' San An Tone - Tony Parker was a villain in the NBA. Or at least to me, which is all we need to say. Shannon spends most of the first season laying around in a bikini on the beach while others are killing themselves to help each other, Shannon uses and tricks men into doing her bidding like her step-bro Boone of course, Charlie into catching her a fish, and later Sayid to get her nut off and to hopefully kill John Locke. Shannon was offensive in that she sucks, but she also got some shit done, so was Tony Parker. Tony was a great ball handler, great slasher, great drive to the hoop man, great assist man, and just great at breaking down a defense by going right at it and making them either pivot to him to take his speedy slash for he would make them look dumb drawing them to him like he was a pretty blonde in a bikini and then dishing it off to the open man. And when Tony did it to someone, he'd be smirking and smug and they'd be demoralized just like personality-plus Shannon. 

 

Both Shannon and Tony are controversial-international lovers. As mentioned, Shannon banged Boone who is her step-bro and she did do that in Australia. Also, Shannon's American and we know of her banging an Australian (the boyfriend she pretends is abusive and then that guy beats up Boone), banged that French dude as mentioned, and she hooks up with Iraqi Sayid Jarrah on the island. They don't bang, we know that, but we don't know if they did handies on each other or just watched each other handy themselves or whatever you want to imagine besides penis in vagina sex as they make a point to say they 'didn't go all the way' that night they spent together. Of course, that could mean something to them that it doesn't mean to me. Maybe that's anal or double-sided dildo or like I should move on to Tony. So, Tony is Belgian and we definitely know he had sex with non-Belgian people in non-Belgium countries, and most famous of that was him marrying and have who knows how much sex with Eva Longoria and during that time Tony cucked his teammate Rick Barry by fucking his wife Erin Barry. I never rooted for Tony Parker, but damn did I respect him. 

 

Last but not least, they were both famous victims in a wrong place right time scenario- Shannon was shot in her flat tummy by Ana Lucia who thought she was about to shoot and kill an Other. And Tony took glass to the eye while in the club when Chris Brown and Drake were throwing drinks at each other.