#71 - Bob Lanier is Boone Carlyle


Hell yeah! BOONE! BOB! BOB! BOONE!


That sexy oak of a man, Bob Lanier, plagued by knee injuries and living in the shadow of his own hype is exactly Boone. Also, Bob played in the 70s and 80s, which is a billion years ago, which is akin to Boone basically only existing in the first season of Lost. Back to Boone being like an injury-riddled, 8x all-star, and perennial playoffer- it's fucking Boone. Boone! First season of Lost, Boone was involved in all of the shit and he was always getting hurt from said shit. Nearly drowned trying to save that rando woman even though he was a lifeguard (which we never see a flashback about), gets beat up for stealing the water, gets emotionally injured by his step-sister and once-lover Shannon like every freakin' second of his freakin' life, he gets beat up another time and I'm forgetting why, he gets hogtied and drugged in the jungle by his mentor John Locke (which is fucking RRRRRRIPE for slash fan fic aka gay fan fic aka fan fic) he ultimately has a horrific death as he is in a plane that is stuck in a tree atop a cliff and said plane falls to the Earth with him in it not wearing a seatbelt at all, and yeah he basically has to beg to be allowed to die in peace as crazy ass Jack is about to cut his leg off in the vain attempt to save his life, which he knows won't work, but Jack just doesn't know how to quit. So, yeah, Boone is involved in basically every A storyline for the first season of Lost and he gets the fuck beat out of him each and every time.


Talking about hype, Bob Lanier was a big name college ball player and then #1 draft pick, which is basically Boone being the heir and corporate officer of a multi-million dollar wedding planning empire built by his mom. Lots of hype for that guy too. Bob never got to fully realize his athleticism and talent because of his 8 knee surgeries, meanwhile Boone always had a rigid hard on for his step sister Shannon who had him wrapped around her finger and he couldn't figure out his own life as he either was chasing after Shannon or just doing what his mom told him to. Fan fic?! Incest is fucking IN nowadays. Oh yeah, Boone got beat up in a flashback when he went to 'save' Shannon from her abusive boyfriend.


Last but not least, Bob was a career double double man and Boone played by Ian Somerhalder is a career double double man in the facial looks department- he's a an objectively hot man. He may have the worst hair on Lost though, which is something because there is so much bad hair on Lost. I think it's excessively problematic because Ian Somerhalder is hot and then it's like they spit in the face of this hot man by putting shitty hair on him. So, that could be the knee injuries too- terrible hair. Hot man with an awful hair cut.


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