#39 - Walt Frazier is Noor Abed Jaseem

Better known as Clyde and Nadia, respectively. RESPECTIVELY. C’mon! Of course, the famed and one and only point guard for the illustrious 2x NBA Championship - with a capital C - winning New York Knicks is the famed and one and only Freedom - with a capital F - Fighter - another capital F - for the illustrious Iraqi people, *and Love of Sayid Jarrah’s Life - both with as big of a capital L as one can imagine*. Yes, Noor and Walt who are much better known as Nadia and Clyde. 

Am I a New York Knickerbockers sympathizer? Sure. Have I not shown great and immense love for players and champions of many other regions in this very United States of National Basketball Association including Toronto? Of-fucking-course I have! Read these insane screeds! These impassioned essays of bizarreness. I have poured my heart out about Gary Payton, I have poured my heart out about Ray Allen, I have poured my heart out about other people who won championships for other teams that are not the Miami Heat. But New York is New York and I grew up mainly in New Jersey with a dad from New York and you can’t also tell me New York is an NBA center. Madison Square Garden is a famed arena for professional hoops. And as I probably said already with Willis Reed and Earl ‘The Pearl’ Monroe, these Knicks championship teams were enormous in NBA culture and so many of those players would be inducted into the Hall of Fame and just are generally lauded. I will flat out say that beyond the Knicks-bias, what really stands out to me about the Knicks and their success is 1. How dominant Bill Russell was in that he held the Knicks to no championships with basically the same line-up that goes on to win two NBA championships, and 2. You’re only as good as your competition and the Knicks besting the Wilt Chamberlain Los Angeles Lakers was a fucking feat. 

You know what was also a feat? Standing up to the Iraqi Republican Guard. You know what was also way more difficult than besting Wilt Chamberlain in two NBA championship series? Being tortured by the Iraqi Republican Guard. Yeah, it’s in incredibly poor taste for me to even suggest that they are similar, but we are talking about a fictional character- even though it is something that happens in real life and I’m going to move onto the next sentence as if something was solved here. Nadia is fucking tough! Nadia stares down Sayid who is tasked to interrogate/torture her and she’s like, ‘Do whatever the fuck you want, you ain’t getting shit. And I knew you when you were a little punk who’d chase me around and your military costume don’t make you any more shit than that little punk.’ But she does it in a lot more loving of a way than I just did, but READ BETWEEN THE LINES. And you know what? Sayid kills an Iraqi Republican Guard dude, shoots himself in the leg, and gives Nadia his gun to escape. And you know what? She does escape. She fucking escapes! She is strong, she is beautiful, and she is free. The Lakers aka the Iraqi Republican Guard will not be besting Nadia aka Clyde anytime soon! By the way, I typed ‘any ti’ and hit delete to delete the space as anytime can be one word and it autocorrected to ‘aunty’ and for some reason I think that really announces the spirit of what I was saying. Nadia and Clyde are champions, aunty! 

Beyond that, they’re both fashionable as both can pull off any look. Clyde is a suit wearing icon. He looks like he lept off a comic book as a superhero in these fucking outfits. It’s a confidence, a daring, a power like someone who could escape the Iraqi Republican Guard into the night and never be caught again. Or really this elegance and style and charisma to wear and to take ownership of these loud fashion choices, statements the way someone could if they were the love of your life that you would keep a picture of and, honestly, use as your emotional compass wherever life takes you. That’s what Nadia did to Sayid. Dude was transfixed with that woman and she knew it and he was a fuck up who believed he was never good enough to be with her. She was a voice in his head, in his heart, a memory that haunted him forever kind of like Clyde being on the Knicks television broadcast for like my whole life and reminding Knicks fans of what once was and will seemingly never be again. 

FUCK STYLES? Unforgettable. Literally, unforgettable. And by that, I mean sexual congress with either Nadia or Clyde would be like taking part in the unforgettable duet of ‘Unforgettable’ by long-dead Nat ‘King’ Cole and his much-alive daughter at the time Natalie Cole. A romantic journey performed best in a half-posthumous rendition between father and daughter that is truly unforgettable. Whether you’re dad or daughter, you will be one of them and Nadia/Clyde will be the other and you will feel like you’re creating that duet as lovers. We’re done here, aunty!