#40 - Chris Paul is Woo-Jung Paik

Dad. Not ‘Daddy’. Dad. An actual ‘father’. Chris Paul is an excellent point guard and all that is well and good, but his brand is ‘Dad’ now with a capital letter D and he most definitely needed to be paired with another Dad in Woo-Jung Paik aka Sun’s Dad aka CEO of Paik Heavy Industries. We’re talking about a Dad who is powerful, global, established, a giver, a bit of a demander about what’s been given, not easy to get along, but again a Dad. They’re your fucking Dad. 

Who is Chris Paul nowadays? Who is CP3? What is CP3’s legacy? That’s where we’re at with Chris Paul, we’re talking legacy. It’s crazy. I know I’m old and all at 37 and I know I suffer from the same issues as an old person and think I’m ‘young’ in that it feels crazy to me to have first hand knowledge of a FIFTEEN YEAR career of Chris Paul and for that to have been also post college. UGH. Fucking college! Yeesh. I’m crying. Nevermind. Chris Paul was a big deal, 4th overall pick from Wake Forest - I’ve always hated that school and I’m not sorry at all that CP3 had to lose to my superior college SJU in that sweet sixteen, quite happy about that one - and he was drafted to a bum NOLA Hornets. Similar to Anthony Davis on this list and honestly a ton of others in the NBA, Chris was playing elite level basketball basically by himself on a nothing special team. It happens, happens a lot. CP3 was Rookie of the Year, he’s a 10x All Star overall, and really it felt like we were just waiting and waiting so hard for him to just get to a team that made fucking sense and it happened - Los Angeles Clippers. I like any sane out there loved the Darius Miles/Quentin Richardson/head knocks Clip Show, but it didn’t last a full year. The Clippers really felt like they had something as a franchise when CP3 joined Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan to create ‘Lob City’ and that energy was something, but the NBA is fucking tough and the West is fucking tougher and yeah it didn’t happen. Either way, CP3 is a top 10 assist man, a top 10 steal man, a prolific scorer in his own right 18,000+ points, and he’s obviously durable and survived a lot in the NBA. And he’s a Dad. Chris Paul as a spokesman for State Farm for like a thousand years now and his resident positive Dad energy there is one thing and then his seemingly tough personality that has left him on bad terms with several teams and people is that negative Dad energy- it’s both fucking barrels of Dad. 

One of the top Dads on ‘Lost’ who is both a giver and a bad attitude-haver is Sun’s Dad aka Mr. Paik who is part international millionaire and part mobster. Mr. Paik is ready to give out some top tier assists like one hundred thousand dollars in cash to give to his daughter on short notice. Of course, this assist does come with a few strings in that if Sun wants the money then he needs to have Jin work for him, which he then makes Jin get involved with some real seedy shit like drive around a hitman who wears all white. I’m not saying Chris Paul ever made DeAndre Jordan or James Harden or anyone drive around a hitman who wears all white, but it doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibility. Like I think Chris Paul may know a hitman who dresses all in white. Maybe he’s given that hitman tickets to a game or two and had them come back into the lockerroom and meet some of the fellas. I think that’s a possibility with Chris Paul. What else does Mr. Paik do, he has an established brand like CP3. I think Mr. Paik would love to have his own shoes and I’m sure there are some Paik Heavy Industries t-shirts out there in the world. He’s got a real palpable aura of authority. His falling out with Sun is kind of like Paul’s falling out with the Clippers- both have to do with Los Angeles. Chris Paul won a gold medal at the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing as well as the 2012 Olympic Games in London, and I feel very confident if Mr. Paik were an actual living being who existed in 2008 and 2012 and was the head of this global wealthy company that he would’ve gone to both of those Olympic Games or been apart of them. I think it’s undeniable that Mr. Paik is a pro-Olympic Games person as he is very much a type of person who would somehow be making money off of the Games in a possibly criminal way. They both just have a look about them and a literal look that is pure disappointed Dadness. 

Fuck styles? Demanding. I think the idea that Chris Paul is a great assist man, but is also known for having personality problems with these teammates that he’s assisting means he’s a giver with demands. I don’t know how that translates exactly to the bedroom, but I think they know what they want and it’s not spontaneous. They are Saul Williams with their ‘List of Demands’ and if they don’t get it then Chris Paul and Mr. Paik will let you know with sneers and looks and demeanor and probably just curt attitude for days. I definitely think/know/believe that Chris Paul has sexual routines that he calls out like he does in game like the classic point guard he is and he’s like, ‘We’re running ‘one’ tonight.’ And he probably like signals ‘one’ and there’s a lot of literal pointing and his wife knows what ‘one’ is, but he’s still like, ‘you’re lying here with your leg like that and then I’m here’ and she is trying everything in her not to roll her eyes or yell, ‘I know!’