#41 - Bob Cousy is George Minkowski

Let’s be honest, who cares? On a list where Anthony Davis is ranked ahead of some truly all-time great NBAers who have won championships and defined the game, we also have Bob fucking Cousy at #41. Serious-fucking-ly? Like one second ago, I was writing about Russell Westbrook. RUSSELL FUCKING WESTBROOK. And now I’m writing about the man one ahead better of Russell fucking Westbrook is Bob Cousy. In what world does one imagine that Bob Cousy could have ever beat Russell Westbrook? Bob in his prime and Russell when he was pre-puberty. Maybe in a society where Russell Westbrook has not started the pubescent decade of his life he loses a game of basketball to fucking Bob Cousy. Yeesh. Put him on the fucking list, ok, but fucking #41?! Are we nuts?! Why even stop there? Make him #15. Make him whatever. Nothing that Bob Cousy has done would make this make more sense if you put him at #74 or #2. He played six million years ago, his stats do not hold up, he won 6 NBA championships alongside fucking Bill motherfucking Russell who let’s just say was #1-#10 reasons that those championships were won, and he was league MVP once, which I guess whatever in 1957. But sure, #41. 

So, yeah, Bob is George fucking Minkowski. Why? Because. How about that?! Fuck off. Fuck off with this Bob Cousy is #41. You know, it really isn’t George Minkowski specifically as a character in him being a communications officer for Charles Widmore’s boat of mercenaries off to find Benjamin Linus and Desmond Hume on THE island and all that and kill them, nor the part where Minkowski starts experiencing the flashes in different realities like Desmond and eventually dies from it. It’s really not about Minkowski being brought back for the parallel universe, afterlife universe in the final season of the show as a limo driver. It’s really not that that makes me think of Bob Cousy. Bob Cousy isn’t really George on the page and more so the casting of Fisher Stevens as George. It’s the fucking yuck nerdom of it all. Look I really don’t know too too much about Fisher Stevens’ life, similarly don’t know about Bob Cousy’s life and I don’t care to and what I do know is that these fucking yucky nerds like love them and that’s enough for me. Like yeah, I saw ‘Short Circuit’ and ‘Short Circuit 2’ a bunch as a kid and, at some point, I learned that that was a white man in brownface doing all that and that’s enough to never watch those movies. I like robots, but not enough to be cool with watching that movie again and yeah a lot of people signed off on that, but man the one at the top of that list was Mr. Fisher Stevens and people are still in love with supporting this guy and putting him in stuff. He must be a great Hollywood/NYC society party hang or something with fellow white elites because Leo loves him and Marty loves him and, clearly, Damon Lindelof must like him. He’s in a lot of stuff, not really sure why, but he’s in a lot of stuff. Always feels like he’s like someone’s friend to me. 

You know Fisher Stevens executive produced ‘Tiger King’? That sucks, right? So, he fronted the money for a documentary following around a bunch of animal abusers who turns out are also human abusers too. Like that’s the twist of the movie. These animal abusers ALSO are sexually abusing humans who they seemingly have drugged sometimes or all the time. COOL! I’m psyched to see him in Wes Anderson’s next movie! WOOOOO!!! I’m sure he had to audition, right? Probably a long audition process for that and not like some weird signoff to just put Fisher in the movie because we all like this guy, right? Yuck. I guess that’s similar to fucking Bob Cousy accepting the fucking medal of freedom (all lower case, fuck that) from our dipshit president. Oh, what was Bob Cousy supposed to do? Um, not accept it. Who the fuck cares?! Um, at worst accept the award and immediately spit and shit on our dipshit president. At best, definitely be like I’m never accepting an award given to me by some dipshit like our current president. That’s insane. Bob Cousy can fuck off and so can this #41 shit. 

Fuck styles? Probably some pill-aided ugly dick stuff. Yuck. Just thinning big bulbous head covered in scalp creams and chomping on pills to get erect. You think they need that injection erect dick stuff that shit fuck Harvey Weinstein used? You know that Harvey has a legit zombie dick that he had to inject right into his dickhole with chemicals to get an erection to assault women with? You know that? Now, you know it. Think about that like every other hour of the day like I do. FUCK. What a stupid fucking world we live in. Man, I just went to Bob Cousy’s fucking wiki and I shit you not - I was thinking this motherfucker is so old and so old New York that I bet they fucking mention stickball in this fucker’s wiki AND GUESS WHAT- they fucking do. Holy shit, they talk about stickball. God damn it. What a stupid world. Fuck your stickball, you award accepting jackass from a fucking legit evil ass piece of shit. Uh, hello? Oh, it’s the White House? Uh, fuck you and I’m hanging up. That’s how it should’ve gone. Oh, hello, I’m a respectable human being and I’m being requested to honor this dipshit president with my presence - uh, you’re out of your fucking mind. Oh, yeah, I played basketball before black people had the right to vote and I also accepted a fake medal for doing as much from a human who helped put bounties on the heads of American troops and is definitely a rapist. Yeah, I’m a cool fucking dude! 

Hmmmmm, yeah, I guess he was good as The Plague in ‘Hackers’. I mean since I don’t like him and he was the villain, it made it really easy to root against the corporate sell out shit head who looked like Fisher Stevens and rode around on a skateboard like a fucking idiot and was friends with stupid fuck Penn Jillette. I’ll rewatch Hackers I guess. And Bob Cousy is in ‘Blue Chips’ and he hits all these free throws in a row. That’s cool. But yeah, fuck Fisher Stevens, fuck Bobby Knight in his stupid head with a drill, and yeah cool. Anyway, fuck.