#59 - Bob McAdoo is Roger Linus

McAdoo! I think we all need to smile and you really can’t not smile when you say ‘Bob McAdoo’ or really when you shout ‘Bob McAoo!’ If Bob McAdoo isn’t working completely for you, try ‘Bobby McAdoo!’ Just really give it a heave ho and shout ‘Bobby McAdoo!’ If we’re doing this, Bobert McAdoo. Try that on for size. Bobert. I’m not going to lie, even if you plan it ahead of time, you call someone named Bob or Rob or Robert or whatever - Bobert the next time you see them in person, you’ll both chuckle your fucking heads off. Oh yeah, and it’s pronounced MAK-AH-DOO. 

We’re not talking former New York Giants head coach of footballing Ben McAdoo who my wife correctly believes looks like a ‘Farside’ comic strip character, we’re talking basketball great from the NBA/ABA era including league MVP in seventy-fucking-five to highly-qualified role player and winner of two NBA championships with the Los Angeles Lakers TO featured assistant coach and winner of three NBA championships with the Miami Heat- Bobert … Bob McAdoo! 

That’s what I know about Bob McAdoo. Dude was drafted by and played for the BUFFALO BRAVES! BUFFALO. BRAVES. Do those words sound right to you? Together they definitely do not and separately for basketball they do not either. That’s because this was 1972, baby, and they had teams in cities like Buffalo with names like Braves. Years upon years later, both the Buffalo Braves and Bob McAdoo would move to Los Angeles as the Clippers and as apart of the super duper deep bench of the Los Angeles Lakers on two of the FIVE championships that franchise won in the fucking 80s. Imagine your team having the #59 of ALL-TIME coming off the bench? Pat Riley was swimming in talent in lovely LA. 

So, Robert (did you say Bobert in your head or want to or think I should have typed that?) was straight killing it in life as a great baller way back in the day in the truly before times of life in Buffalo, bounced around doing what he did, and then became the big name off the bench for the most highly touted team- sounds like Roger Linus to me! Roger ‘Workman’ Linus, am I right?! 

We don’t know a whole hell of a lot of specifics about Roger Linus before THE island, but what we do know is this - he was married, good looking wife named Emily who seemed to be a fan of handkerchiefs on her head look, had a leisurely enough life that he was outhiking with his pregnant wife in the Oregon woods, wife went into labor and Roger fucking delivered that baby no problem, he fucking carries his wife in his arms and the baby in her arms all the way back to the nearest road. Things get worse from there as Emily dies, but you know McAdoo is a widower as well apparently, so let’s focus on the GOOD -- married, attractive wife, he got her pregnant with his semen through sex and that’s cool, hiking in Oregon is great, he didn’t balk at delivering his own kid, carried them like a He-Man through the woods to a road, skip the bad bit next, and was offered a job and new life on THE island! Roger Linus is pretty legit! 

Of course, things THE island don’t really work out how Roger would’ve liked like him becoming a glorified gofer and janitor and he turns out to be a terrible dad to his son who later murders him with gas, but Roger is highly-qualified roleplayer for a terrific team aka the Dharma Initiative (Lakers) in a beautiful location aka THE island (Los Angeles). So, yeah, all of this checks out. AND I’m not done, in the parallel timeline Roger is a good dad, beloved father who his son dutifully looks after and gives his son advice/motivation to achieve his dreams (blackmail the principal of the school he works at), which is pretty much McAdoo having a post-playing career as a longtime assistant coach for the Miami Heat who would win 3 NBA championships. So, yeah! 

Fuck styles? Bobby got I think four kids, so he put it down. He had a hell of a mustache game, which I think if you’ve got a sick mustache game then you’ve got to be a bit of a freak or a lot of a bit of a sex freak. So yeah, McAdoo was Mack-a-gooing in the bedroom. I’m sorry. As for Roger? I mean he snagged one woman, seemed like he became a drunk incel after that. I bet in his heyday of taking handkerchief headed ladies for hikes in the Oregon woods, Linus was lying in those uteruses, ok?! I think I have something really wrong with me.