#56 - Ray Allen is Danielle Rousseau

Shooters with a knack for turning friends into enemies- I think Ray and Danielle are a match made in Neveah. Nevada? Heaven. That’s it! Match made in heaven. Before I get into calling these two people- one fictional, one non-fictional- dickheads, you should know that I’m a huge ass fan of both. I love Ray Allen. Fuck yeah. Man, I love ‘He Got Game’ and I loved watching him win 2 NBA championships and Danielle is definitely one of my fav characters on ‘Lost’ with her attack first, questions later approach, with her island chic style, and she gets shit done. 

The 3 point line was an ABA thing that the NBA later adopted and the 3 people who used the line the absolute best are Reggie Miller, Steph Curry, and Ray fucking Allen. I haven’t looked at the rest of the list, but it would be nuts if Reggie and Steph aren’t also on this list. I think Ray/Reggie is a debate. Maybe Ray became more of a role-player 3 point shooter who was a catch and release kind of 3 shooter and Reggie was maybe making 3s more with the ball already in his hands. I assume that’s the case, but Ray is a 2x NBA champ. Reggie was a great team leader for a highly talented team that just had to contend with a super tough East in the 90s. I don’t know, I kind of think those two are more of a toss-up in my head, but I’m not a stats guy. Anyway, as of right now, Ray Allen has the most ever 3s made at like 700 more than Reggie and Steph is right around Reggie. Barring some unfortunate circumstances, Steph Curry will take that record as he has with like every other 3 record as he’s no doubt the best 3 ball shooter, but who cares. 

RAY ALLEN! Ray was a star in college at UCONN (Where you at, Rebecca Lobo?!), had a ton of heat on him coming into the pros, was an uncompromising force of offensive will for the Bucks then the late-great Sonics, finally got his due as a dagger-er in Boston and then in Miami. 10x All-Star, 2x NBA champ, droppings tres all over their face-s, but he accumulated some unfriendlies along the way as well. I’m not king gossip, so what I know is that his former Celtics fellows - Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Rajon Rondo - don’t like him. I’m pretty sure the ‘Big 3’ of Pierce, Garnett, and Allen were all particularly tough on the young Rondo, especially Garnett and Allen. And then Allen left to join the Heat, so he became enemy #1 to all of them after that. I feel like too many team leader personalities or too many ‘don’t tell me what to do, I’m a man’ personalities was happening in Boston with Pierce, Garnett, and Allen AND then Allen goes on to greener pastures in Miami with Lebron, Wade, and Bosh, so there’s some hard feelings. Whatever. I think there are other stories of guys being not into Ray, but another big whatever. Dude rocked. Played for a long time, played great for multiple teams. JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH! 

Now, Danielle- she’s a shooter too. Danielle is such a shooter that you watch her shoot and kill the father of her child with a rifle and when she’s doing that that father references she shot and killed their other French researcher friends, so yeah Danielle’s a shooter. Of course, those guys probably deserved it as they went underneath THE Temple and probably were killed and then brought back to life to be soldiers for the Man in Black. Either way, this is a woman of science who was a scientific research mission and she be PREGNANT and she ventured onto THE island and gave birth on that damn THE island and she spoke English and French and she became a damn mama-bear getting that rifle and killing off her French frenemies. Danielle’s been a shooter. Danielle’s also a singular survivor like Ray as she was on THE island by herself, taking care of herself, and dealing with hostiles from every direction for years FOR YEARS. Traps. Danielle loves traps. I think Ray’s ability to exist on the 3 point line and hit those big buckets off a pass when someone like Rajon or Lebron would drive the lane, drawing the coverage and then Ray gets the pass and he nails that 3- I’d say Ray loves traps too. 

Let’s get back to Danielle making enemies in a way Ray Allen couldn’t even dream to. So, Danielle kills her French friends/research buds including sperm-giver for their daughter Alex, Danielle traps Sayid then tortures him, and Danielle steals Claire’s baby to hopefully use as a bargaining chip to give to The Others to get her daughter back. But Danielle also helps Sayid a number of times, ends up taking Claire to get her memories back as they visit the medical station where she had been held captive and where we realize that Danielle helped her escape, Danielle’s trap initially captures Ben, another trap snags Jack and Kate giving the two of them a chance to push their bodies against each other, and she really becomes a part of the gang on a bunch of solid missions, so yeah she maybe had some rough edges personality wise, but she basically helped them win 2 fucking NBA championships and they should get over it. Also, Danielle had her baby stolen at gun point by Ben and raised by The Others, which is pretty much like Ray getting traded from the Sonics to the Celtics and then the Sonics relocating to Oklahoma City to become the Thunder. I mean I see it. It’s the same thing. Same thing! 

Fuck styles? Aggressive. I bet a lot of eye contact and like A LOT of nose-wrinkling. You know it’s true! I think Danielle was always a passionate lover. I mean she’s French, she’s bilingual, she’s a globe-trotting research scientist, she’s a pregnant woman who is on a boat and then on an island and just not letting any fucking thing get in her way that’s passion. A pregnant woman who just crashed onto an island and is wearing a wet sweater and is like, ‘uhhh, I’m going on the fucking hike through the jungle to see what lies in the darkness’ in French and then a Korean man who has been all fucked up washes up on shore and she’s the first person to him and communicating with him in ESL and then seeing the trust worthiness in him- yeah, she’s a passionate fucker. BUT I’d bet that passion would be less loving and a little bit more like sport fucking scary after she’s a stone cold killer and trap and bomb maker. Oh yeah, Danielle makes bombs and blows stuff up too. Remember when she blew up her habitrail of an island home? That was like Ray Allen blowing up the NBA Finals with that tying 3 in game 6 against the Spurs. BOOM. Ok, I think Ray Allen kind of grits hits teeth and gets all serious and wrinkles his nose in like a sneer when he fucks. I think that’s perfectly fine to say and I think if Sayid hadn’t escaped Danielle’s torture room that he would’ve experienced Danielle’s sneer, nose-wrinkle, gritted teeth fucking face as well. And I think Sayid really missed out.