#51 - James Worthy is Kelvin Inman

A big star plus a team player, championship teams at that, big part of even greater stories than his own, career fell off with the abrupt departure of a big time teammate, and an avarice fuck style. Why am I saying ‘big’ so much? Beyond that it’s a perfectly good word to use in any of those statements? Well beyond, me not needing to track down synonyms for big because you’re really only here to see what I say about these fuckers fucking? Ummm, it’s motherfucking ‘BIG GAME’ JAMES WORTHY! BIG GAME! Great nickname. It’s simple, it rhymes enough, it’s fun to say, it’s fun to shout, it’s fun to say loudly and slowly, it’s accurate as shit. BIG. GAME. JAMES. 

Little ole’ Big Game James was basically always a big deal. Highly scouted out of high school, huge fucking deal in college, #1 draft pick, just an all-timer and champion in the pros. I see a lot of parallels with James and former troop and torturer extraordinaire turned world-saving button pusher Kelvin Inman played by inimitable Clancy fucking Brown. From ‘Highlander’ to ‘Shawshank Redemption’ to ‘Carnivale’, man fucking ‘Lost’ had to have Clancy play somebody/anybody on this damn show and Clancy got to play creepy/scary ass heavy Kelvin Inman, an archetype he’s quite familiar with. 

Kelvin was the leader of some special ops, US army crew in the Gulf War, which is a war that we actually won, so that sounds a lot like the University of North Carolina Tarheels of the late 70’s-early 80’s where ‘Big Game’ James was the top dog. But with that being said, arguably the bigger story was Kelvin’s younger teammate Sayid Jarrah and James’ younger teammate Michael Jordan. Is Sayid gonna be Michael Jordan? Who knows? It’s a million years away and maybe I’m rooting for an asteroid to come destroy the world well before that gets here. But yeah, Kelvin sees the inherent talent in Sayid for violence and torture and all that good stuff and he really flips that switch in him toward getting a championship for the US against the Iraqi army in the Gulf War, which is as you can guess James Worthy helping evolve the raw and ready Michael Jordan and the two of them going on to win the 1982 NCAA championships, which Big James was the MVP of. 

It’s pretty clear what happened with James after all that good stuff, which was the Los Angeles Lakers and the NBA rigging the draft to add James Worthy to an already insane team that had just won the NBA championship. We don’t know exactly what happened with Kelvin next, but he seemed to leave the US army early, kind of like James peacing out to the NBA instead of going back to college for his senior year, and Kelvin is a ‘candidate’ on Jacob’s list, which means I guess he too was rigged to be brought to THE island and join up with a championship team aka The Dharma Initiative. I am killing this! So, yeah, on the Lakers and on The Dharma Initiative these guys are collecting rings as James wins 3 NBA titles including the Finals MVP of ‘88 meanwhile Kelvin is at the very least put into the Swan where he and Radzinsky are put in charge of typing in 4 8 15 16 23 42 every 108 minutes to keep THE island from exploding. Sounds like a championship team to me. Now, Radzinsky seemingly blows his head off with a shotgun. That’s what we’re told and then for the next like I don’t know several years or decade or something Kelvin somehow continues to keep pushing that button for 108 minutes by himself, which sounds like a fucking M-V-P performance to me. Right? RIGHT?!

What else? Oh yeah, Kelvin saves Desmond’s life and then gaslights the fuck out of him, but does so to get him to help him push that button - and to eventually leave Desmond to do it by himself as was done to him, but we’ll forgive that for a moment. So, that pairing of Kelvin and Desmond is really what pushes so much of the story of ‘Lost’ forward. Kelvin basically explains most of what you find out about THE island to Desmond and it’s what really puts Desmond into so much at the forefront of the show. I feel like it’s not a perfect fit as a relationship, but I’m saying it’s a fucking great trio on the show of Kelvin, Radzinsky, and Desmond are ‘Big Game’, ‘The Dream’, and ‘Magic’ winning 3 titles together for the purple and gold. And James didn’t play too too long in the league as he basically started like a decade straight and then his top teammates left, so he left early, which kind of sounds like Kelvin and the button and maybe Kareem retiring in ‘89 is Radzinsky blowing his head off and ‘Magic’ leaving because of HIV is Desmond physically killing Kelvin because Kelvin was sneaking off THE island on Desmond’s boat that he had restored somehow without Desmond ever knowing. I don’t know. It’s close enough. 

Fuck styles?! Well, ‘Big Game’ apparently was arrested soliciting two undercover VICE squad cops for a threesome, so yeah I think the dude fucks. Tigers don't change their stripes, so I'm betting orgies have been and continue to be a Worthy hobby. And I’m guessing that a guy who has been trapped in a bunker by himself for a decade would be real into soliciting prostitutes for a threesome. Probably a foursome or a fivesome if he could get it. If Desmond never killed Kelvin and Kelvin got on that boat and somehow sailed back to the mainland, I’m sure he would’ve been soliciting all the prostitutes for all the orgies.  And you’re picturing James rocking those rec specs, those goggles while fucking, right? Can I liken that to torture for the person they’re having sex with? Like it’d be torture trying to bust while you’re banging someone with rec specs on? Sounds like torture. Sounds like they like giving ruined orgasms. Ok, that’s good.