#47 - George Gervin is Walt

WAAAAALLLTTTT!!!!! That’s my son! I feel like when I think of Lost, the first thing I think of is Michael yelling ‘WAAAAALLLLTTTTT!!!’ and then the ‘That’s my son’, which Michael must say six billion times. It’s probably 75% of Michael dialogue is him saying either one of those things. But we’re not talking about the immensely talented Harold Perrineau playing Michael Dawson, we’re talking about his fictional son Walt who may or may not have had super powers on the show Lost and how he’s the parallel to one of the most cold-blooded scoring machines in NBA history - George ‘The Iceman’ Gervin. 

No one cut to the core or played around less than Walt and Gervin. Seriously, The Iceman was the #1 scorer in the NBA for three consecutive years - THREE FUCKING YEARS STRAIGHT - and then slipped all the way down to third *eye roll* and then BLAM was back on top again the next year. Just buckets and buckets and buckets. And, he was a shooter - a pure shooter. Gervin was a shooter and a finger-roll ARE-TEEST. A finger-roller! FINGER ROLL MASTER! Talking about a finger roll from the free throw line. Gervin was one of those forces of nature who’d drop 40+ points in a game or 50+ points in a game or 60+ points in a game and do it as a shooting guard. Years later it seems like the two of them didn’t get along in their short time together in Chicago, but when you watch Michael Jordan’s ability to just shower teams with points and catch on fire as a shooter and run up 20+ in a quarter in a hiccup- The Iceman was one of those guys that helped pave the way for a shooting guard to do that. So much of hoops seemed to be centered around the center and for good reason as a more physical game back then with a true 7 foot scorer down low makes sense. But Gervin could cut a team down from distance and he had real defensive skills as a blocker too. What about Walt?

With all the gunplay on that damn show, on that damn THE island- Walt would absolutely eviscerate his dad with like a sentence or a look. It was terrible! Kids are the worst! Walt would just line up with his dad and then just pierce him through the gut with something like ‘you don’t care about me’ and it was like ‘fuck’. Michael is busting his ass all around this jungle fighting and everything and yeah he’s got a shitty disposition, but lord knows his kid looking him right in his eyes and telling him he sucks is worse than any bullets or smoke monsters. Walt just take people down with some of that dialogue, just some kid making these adults look weak. So, Walt’s cutting remarks are George’s like normal ass, awesome shooting. And then The Iceman’s finger rolls are Walt’s seemingly mystical powers that bring bad things into reality like causing a bird to commit suicide and fly head first into a window. Right? A finger roll from like 7 feet out should’ve counted for 4 points. If a dude can do something that graceful and classy and ultimately humiliating to you from that far away then that’s basically like Walt reading a Spanish language comic book about with a polar bear in it and then seemingly causing a polar bear to either come to life or comeback to life or escape from the polar bear cages at that very moment to then rampage on some people Walt knows at that very moment. Makes sense to me.

Am I the only one who watched Lost and thought that Walt was going to be like the key to everything? Like his powers would be explained? Like his powers would be used for really anything? Like he’s come back to THE island and be a part of bringing down The Smoke Monster? Am I? Maybe I missed something, but none of that happens and nothing happens with Walt. He just survives and never is a part of a real A storyline that affects the overall show. Kind of feel like that’s how NBA fans and even ABA fans must’ve felt with Gervin who played his dick off for years, scoring all the points and his teams never even made it to a finals. Dude was a 9x NBA All Star, dude was the 4x scoring champ, he was unquestionably one of the very best in the league and of all-time, but yeah it didn’t turn into a real title shot. Also, Gervin and Walt were quite the travelers in their time - Gervin played for two different colleges, played for 2 teams in the ABA, was drafted into the NBA and then decided to stay in the NBA, played for 11 years in San Antonio then got dealt to Chicago then just played all over the world after that; meanwhile, Walt lived in New York then California I think then Amsterdam then Australia then THE island then back to New York and, basically, each of those moves were to live with a different grouping of people. Weird shit. Kid with the deadly mystical powers is going to kill you if you make him pack and move again. Remember Locke did teach him to throw a fucking knife? So, watch the fuck out.

Fuck styles? Well, I mean Gervin has to be doing some fingering, right? The Iceman was known for his finger roll, so that’s a 1 to 1 of him being fucking so fucking good at fingering. Like exact with it, but gentle enough. Right? Using just the right force and technique and at the right time. Finger placement for these fingering finger rolls. Should I stop writing finger? FINGER! Now, it just sounds sexual and very dirty no matter the context. Chicken finger. Finger! FINGER! FINGERING. Fingering. fingering. FINGERED. Fingered. Fingered sounds the worst. Fingering and finger are on some plateau, but fingered sounds bad in a low class sort of way. Like ‘garlic salt’ sounds dirty, but ‘sea salt’ sounds refreshing. It’s fucking salt. Fingers work! Stop looking down on fingers. We got ten of them! I mean, usually. They’re the most articulate and purposeful things we got outside of our mouths and mouths have to basically ingest whatever it is that you use it on even for a second. Like you don’t control your saliva, where am I going with this?! Um, yeah, I mean the last time we see Walt is when he’s like 16-17 or so and that’s a great time to get yourself acquainted with fingering. Acquainted is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. Maybe think of it as the start of an apprenticeship with fingering. What am I saying? WAAAALLLTTTT!!!!