#46 - Dominique Wilkins is Ethan

We’re talking big, we’re talking strong, we’re talking excitement, we’re talking a fighter, we’re talking individual points on the board moves, we’re talking born to American parents in an exotic location, we’re talking being a cornerstone for one team for a very long time and that team never really wins the big game, we’re talking about the ‘Human Highlight Film’ Dominique Wilkins and his THE island equivalent Ethan ‘The Human Creepazoid who Hangs Charlie and Kidnaps Claire Using Drugs and Violence’ Rom! Yeah! Wooooooo! Ethan! Ethan! Ethan… actually, uhhhh, don’t root for Ethan. Root for Dominique, yeah! Or Nique. Nique! Nique! Nique!

Dominique was a full-on offensive threat against any team year in year out for a solid decade. The 1980s saw The Human Highlight Film scoring buckets and averaging 20+ points a game and most years closer to 30 points a game or even over 30 points a game for two of those years. He was a physical fucking threat. Dominique was a dunker, a MOTHERFUCKING DUNKER. And I’ll get to it in a second what we’re all thinking about when it comes to Nique, but he was an IN GAME dunker. Dominique was getting to the hoop and dunking on your asses. All of your asses! That’s how he was scoring his points. Lots of points. It wasn’t a distant shot game or a pull-up game, it was a down your throat and out-bodying people and exploding to the hoop and into the hoop and onto the hoop and onto your face and booty. I mean, it’s one thing to get into what I’m about to get into, but it’s another to see a true slammer and jammer during a game with true consistency and for them to not be a center. But we know what time it is- SLAM DUNK CHAMPION. TWO TIMES. 2X! It’s crazy, but Dominique Wilkins won the Slam Dunk contest twice and it was 5 years apart. The man was born to fucking dunk. Thank God there is basketball because who the fuck knows what dunking Dominique would’ve been doing if there wasn’t the outlet for his dunking in the National Basketball Association. Honestly, I think the Association saved lives for existing because someone(s) had to absorb those dunks whether there was an NBA or not because Dominique was dunking regardless. 

Physical threat? Dunker? Highlight reel material aplenty? ETHAN! C’mon down, Ethan! Oh wait, you can’t because you were shot half a dozen times in the chest by loser musician Charlie Pace, which is the equivalent to Dominique playing so damn well his whole career and never getting anywhere near an NBA title and, also, tearing his damn ACL right before The Dream Team. Right? We know why Isiah got left off TDT. I feel like if Nique wasn’t injured, he probably would’ve been on it. And fucking Nique became the ‘Comeback Player of the Year’ the very next season. ANYWAY! Ethan, as the kids sometimes say, BODIED Jack twice. Beat his ass up, twice. I don’t know why Ethan was so good at fist fighting per say, but man he beat Jack up the first time, fucked his medical doctorate having ass up and then in the rematch he beat him up again. The second fight was a closer one, but Ethan was winning that one too. Of course, Ethan whooped Charlie’s ass and then hung him from a tree. I mean, of course he whooped his ass. Hanging from a tree was wild and not expected. Either way, when you think about the highlight reel shit from Lost- Ethan showing up all creepy Frankenstein like and getting the drop on pregnant Claire and weirdo Charlie is an all-time moment of the show. Ethan doesn’t even exist much on the show, but man his character arc is arguably some of the most memorable shit. He infiltrates the group, he whoops Charlie and puts him in a tree and kidnaps pregnant Claire, he performs a bunch injections on pregnant Claire’s pregnant belly, he keeps her locked up for a few weeks, after Claire has escaped- Ethan returns to the group and tries to kill people and get Claire back, but then is killed. Ethan is not only a tremendous physical and psychological threat on his own, but he represents the overarching physical and psychological war that’s waiting for these people on THE island. 

So yeah, Ethan’s a fucking bad dude. Sayid probably could’ve taken Ethan one-on-one like Michael Jordan probably could’ve taken Dominique one-on-one, but how many NBAers or Lost characters could have? Mr. Eko and that’s maybe it. One-on-one, Dominique was a fast and powerful and agile force that few could do deal with, but the NBA’s a team sport and someone like Charlie off to the side with a loaded gun really evened out those odds for when Jack fist fought Ethan that second time. And I think I threw out there that Dominique was born on a US military base in Paris and Ethan was born on THE island to Horace and Amy Goodspeed, not sure what the last name Rom is about. Not going to look that up either. Ethan’s a weird jack of all trades to where they show him doing like plumbing work and he’s like a stealth assassin and maybe a medical doctor and he helps Ben kill The Dharma Initiative to turn them into The Others. Quite a life, kind of like Dominique playing ball in Italy and Greece. Same thing. SAME EXACT THING. 

Fuck styles? Well, I think both are big powerful thrusters. You’re welcome!